so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
jump out the window naked night went bad
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