did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
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