let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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