You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Im part way to drunk.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
