11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Randomize
