smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
