I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
she told me i tasted like america
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
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