I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
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