do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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