omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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