we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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