it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
i will never coherently bang her
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
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