Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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