We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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