it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
