and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Farmville is her only friend.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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