nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
