I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Randomize
