Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
