Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
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