Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
