I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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