He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
