She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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