We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Randomize
