is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
he was CRYING into my vagina
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
