The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
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