Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
The power of my boobs compel you
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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