Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Randomize
