Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
