I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I think my fart just growled at me.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
