writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize