do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
