Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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