Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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