38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Randomize
