Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
