he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
