I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
