so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
