It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
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