if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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