Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
He better not be in your backpack
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
