now i know why i became what i already was.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Randomize
