his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
We smell like vodka and hangover
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