all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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