it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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