i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
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You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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