I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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