I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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