More tranny stories later!
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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