Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
