Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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