An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize