His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
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