every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize
