Rock
Scissors
Fuck
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
