if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
