If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
