well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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