I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
