So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
