May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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