I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
