I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I think pants incapable of making pants work
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
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